Dream Big

I am going into my 4th week of study and i have already started thinking about what I should do when I finish. By the 2nd week of May I need to make up my mind if I will stay in Sydney and try and get work as a junior in a studio or head overseas and get an internship somewhere amazing for awhile. I am at a cross roads, not sure what I should do with my life and sometimes I wish someone would grab me, sit me down and tell me straight but I know its not that simple.

The reason I wanted to do this course in the first place was to become a better designer so I could make more intersting t shirts. Right now Hardknox is doing really well but I want to appeal to a wider audience and eventually some day it will be a semi successfull brand, or at least I will be designing for one. I know I am at least 10 years away from owning my own studio but if I work my ass off now and take it seriously I know I can achieve it. How I will fit overseas travels in...I guess I can make some allowances. :)

So the game plan is: Finish course, gain internship, help best mate out with his bodyboarding brand and move to JB. Not in that order but its deffently a go-er.

When your my Herion

A few weeks ago I was deeply moved by the realisation that there were so many homeless people in China Town. Every time I saw them I felt a pang of guilt, remorse even, that they were living their lives this way. It sadened me to a point that when I talked about it I felt an obligation to help. But alot of peoples attitudes were the same 'They choose to live that way so dont worry about it.' and that has been extreamly offputting.

Over time I have learnt to walk on by without thinking about where they will sleep tonight or if they will have enough to eat. Instead I glance over and think 'I wonder where they got that pen to write that sign' why my attitude has changed I dont know.

The young homeless guy that resides around the corner from my building has emerged again. He looks so tired and yesterday I know he spotted me from across the street sitting on the sidewalk, petting his dog. I dont think I would be able to live with myself If I didnt try and help him at some point but the question still remains; 'What if I did and he then relyed on it? What will happen to him if I left?' and a small part of me wonders if he will attack me.....why would I become a monster? Why would I loose compassion? Will I eventually be the one saying they choose that life?

Home this weekend. Normal cups of tea, vegetables and an oven. Loads of laundry and my CD collection. I feel like I have been away forever instead of a few weeks.

WNKRS and their Design Principles

I know its important to learn all the design principles because its one thing to be an excellent artist, photographer, illustrator or designer but if you refuse to learn anything about ballance, contrast or hierachy your artwork is going to look like a piece of shit; and that is where I have a million bad habits.

One of the things we are required to do every Tuesday is search for a design studio we love, find 3 images and get up in front of the class and explain why we love them. So far everyone has picked safe, symetrical boring things with all the right elements that make me want to slit my wrists in frustration. YUCK! Why is everyone playing it safe when all the things I love are so heavy? I dont want to be a graphic designer; I want to be the best artist/typographer/illustrator I can be without playing it safe too much. I would rather stand out because my work is more dynamic and if that means its not visual porn to some but sex on paper to others than I am content. Perhaps I am in need of a major attitude reconstruction about what I think is art and what is design? I guess time will tell the sort of designer I will be.

Anyways, because I cant share the art I love in class I thought I would do it here instead. These guys are great because they inspire me with their concepts. I hope one day I am at the same level they are and some nerdy kid with a blog is posting about me.

http://www.arronandrews.com/#/portfolio/book 1/

From our Ivory Towers

Every day I see something new as I take the same route to college. Last week there was a very aggressive Red Cross rally involving cardboard cut outs of children in school uniforms holding guns. A few days ago a homeless man called me a 'fucking cunt' right in my face which made me jump out of my skin and I now cross the road when I see him. Yesterday afternoon the homeless girl behind my building had cut off all her waist length hair. Her partner sleeps with a suitcase – they look like lost travellers.

In the evenings I play music to block out the whaling of sirens and the sound of the tram speeding past. City and Colour has kept me company this week as I drink a cup of tea and contemplate the use of the stove again after triggering the smoke alarm and sending the whole building in a sea of panic.

The sun goes down over a smog infused view and on cue the stranger across the street starts playing his violin.

The window sil is my friend.

To go forward you gotta go back 12 years

For those of you who moved out of home early, you may remember the shoe box units, absence of washing machines and various cooking utensils that were missing from your kitchen drawer because you have not quite realised the need for them yet. You know a spatchula is important but so far the use has been to chase your flat mate around in a threathening manner and wedge it in the microwave door that just wont close properly.

Well my apartment is indeed a shoebox which they have flowery refered to as 'Studio' when it is infact a gigantic bedroom with a lounge, desk and TV. Im not one to complain though; because in the grand tradition of 'bachelour/etting I am thrilled that the lounge folds out into a bed.

The kitchen is a hole in the wall with 2 stove tops that the engineer hadnt quite concidered a fry pan and saucepan might just want to be on at the same time. I now am quite skilled at cooking vegetables and meat one after the other while setting off the smoke alarm because the elements are out of whack.

And if that doesnt take you back, the bar fridge with NO freezer, endless supply of chocolate, tea bags and frozen meals will make you feel at ease that in order to go forward in life you have to remember what it was like to struggle a little bit. In all honesty I actually enjoying it.

Photos to come of random things in the city i love.

Deep Breath, Be Brave

I had my first overwhelming day at design school yesterday and I think everyone is feeling the pressure to do 'amazing' things. The room is full of strangers all trying to prove they deserve a place in the design world, all trying not to look scared or intimidated and freely chatting about their own skills and abilities. I feel a little out of place. I made the asumption the class would be full of a mixture of male and female art enthuiasts and at least one person would have an impressive sleeve of tattoos on display: I guess that person turned out to be me.

There are 3 guys in my class and a million girls, some sporting exotic accents and all of who talk about going home to their husbands/boyfriends/partners and what they will do for Valentines Day....I am not sure which part I feel more uncomfortable about the most; the fact they think its strange I am so bubbly or I am the only one who wore their hair in pigtails on the first day.

Take a deep breath, put on a smile and just do it. You do deserve it.

Synthetic Life Shots with Cocktail Chasers

I got my first freelance graphic design job this week and I could not be happier with the result. I worked really hard to make sure it looked good, effective and professional while fighting with my PC who couldn't handle the high resolution files and the realisation that it will never live up the standards of a Mac....I have to get a Mac....!!

But it also hit me as to what this year is going to be like for me. I have completly done a 180 in terms of my attitude to things that would normally keep me awake at night. Last year I was obsessed with this 'image' of how I thought I should be perceived but my insecurities came down to not having enough faith in myself and my goals and at the end of the day you can't force people to like you or notice you. So relax.

Out of my comfort zone I feel less adventurous and more likely to take it slow which is a nice change. I was wondering where that girl had gone, seems she was just hibernating at the bottom of a cocktail glass and overpriced dresses but now Im 90% chocolate and 10% Hannah Montana re-runs and i think I am Ok with that for a little while.

Only Happy when it Rains

Day 4

I love unexpected visits from friends far away. Yesterday I caught up with Dee, a friend of mine from school who graduated and then 'disapeared' for 10 years only to turn up on a very random road trip to Nimbin with dread locks and an amazing spirit. She decided to take a trip with two amazing friends and we caught up for lunch and coffee while she was in the area. Its funny, some people make you feel at ease when your around them and I know when i spend time with Dee she is never judging me or trying to convince me to do better or worse: she just accepts me for who i am and she goes with it. I love her - she is a unique individual and I wish I had her courage to live life.

I woke up at 3am, a heavy poor was happening outside so I went to my window to watch. I don't know why but the city always makes me feel lonely. Everyone is coming and going, never stopping and I am standing still right in the middle of it watching this world go by. Musing at my window over China Town reminded me of when I was younger, wanting to be in that exact situation; an apartment in the city, doing something cool for work and living that 'big city life' but that life is not real. Its not long term and sooner or later I know I will crave for the coast like I did before. I cant help having a romantic attachment to the area I grew up in. One day I hope to call it home again.

Young Homeless Guy appeared again today. He disapeared for awhile and i wondered if he was ok or perhaps just found somewhere else to sit with his dog. His appearance was terrible. Eyes sunken in and his expression looked defeated and as I went to get my coffee he looked over at me and I decided to follow the lead of the lady before me and give him the spare change but when I came back I was disapointed to find that he was gone. I hope he and his dog are ok.