Thursday, April 29, 2010


Its a tea and toast night again. A somber evening, not even a scream outside in the city or cars endlessly honking other drivers and pedestrians; its calm and the slight stillness softens me.

3 months ago I came here feeling completely overwhelmed and knowing noone close by made me feel increasingly lonely. I sat by the window sil often looking down at China Town, wondering where all the busy people where going; If they were grocery shopping, late for a job interview or even out to find a hotdog at 12am on a school night. I was in love with the view, the sun setting and kissing my eye lids and occasionally reminding me of home which warmed my heart and blessed with me with a sence of security.

And even though I am happier here, more at peace and have a clearer mind I still feel lonely in this room sometimes. Because not much is my own except my suitcase and book belongings. Even a friend told me it feels like a hotel room, a sterile environment where you cant touch anything and there are no seperate rooms.

I miss my oven. I miss cooking a roast on a weekend and eating the leftovers the next day on bread. I miss making cups of tea in my own mugs. I miss having a washing machine, and not having to see the lady that rips me off every morning and lie when she asks when i am going to come back.

I do miss my home, a home where my computer is faster than my laptop, my books are all shelved on my bookcase and my pots and pans are stacked so badly they fall out when you open the door. Where friends drop by for afternoon tea and the sun makes everything looks pretty through your hair.

I cant wait to find a new home. :) Just as long as I never forget where my heart is.

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